wherewhathowwhenwhy...

thought i'd finally sleep peacefully....
but the monstrous 'question mark' (?) would just not allow it!

blowing my own trumpet!

a scrap from TDG:
great work Niti. Some students of CDC ( centre for development communication ) went through your document at BPA (Blind People's Association) and were very impressed. you have made NID and me proud. have a nice time at home. all the best

.....the impossible finally happened...a few words of appreciation make all the hard work so worth it!

P.S. : may look like i'm showing off...maybe thats what it is ;)

Woman on the verge of a nervous breakdown!

Its been one of 'those' days when it seems nothing is right. The entire universe conspires against me to ruin my life.
A million questions flood the mind- Can I? Did I? What if I? Why me?
Suddenly time becomes the enemy. It's won the war. I panic. I didn't even know were were at war.
A million things to do - this hour, this month, the next six months, the next five years.
How will I?
Crying is the best solution. I know I shouldn't, I don't want to but even tears don't listen to me. No one does!
A million expectations to fulfill - theirs and mine.
Why should I?
This too shall pass. I know. It's not the first time. Should I wait till it happens, act like I'm working towards making it happen or believe that I'm making it happen and rejoice at my victory once it does happen.
Why am I blabbering?
Why is this happening to me?
Maybe it's a phase. Maybe its PMS.

p.s.: the title of this post is a take off from the title of the film screened in the audi today....a small validation of the universal conspiracy against me!

You and I

You led the way
Never asked why

Blindfolded I walked
Never asked why

Stumbled over rocks
Never asked why

Saw through your eyes
Never asked why

Struggled to match
Never asked why

You drew the lines
Never asked why

Did as you said
Never asked why

Now, when I yearn to fly
Why do you ask why?

think about it....

'Whatever the rationale, great design is about emotion'

ain't it?

Something Fishy

There once was a li’l fish
Colours of silver and blue;
Splash in the bowl, its only wish
Of the world beyond, not a clue

Suddenly popped the magic wand
Scooped it in a mesh;
Out o’ the bowl, into the pond
To live life afresh

Plunged into the blue with glee
To discover colours new;
Soon ‘twas time to flee
As the level of the water grew

Water pouring, wind howling
The fish lay still with fear;
Tossing, turning, twirling, rumbling,
The flood led it to the river

Looked around, eyes open wide
Sights never seen before;
Swimming through the current in pride
There began a quest for more

More and more, it strives to know
As excited as can be;
Ready to go with the flow
As river meets the sea

A riot of colours

Yellow, red, green and blue
Tints and shades of every hue
Colourful rivulets flow under the feet
In one big puddle, they all go meet
Water and mud mix for fun
Under these layers, all become one
A crazy drink not meant for the weak
Turns the sane into a freak
Piping hot aamti and sweet poli
Why o why, can’t everyday be Holi!

The law of nature!

If a situation requires undivided attention, it will occur simultaneously with a compelling distraction! :)

-Murphy's laws (book II)

the aftermath

They barged into the room and attacked with hugs and kisses...
writing four lines was so worth it! :)

Four more...

Glint of masti in the eye
A future bright in store
From mumbai will bid her bye
When she moves to bangalore.

Four lines each...

Multi-tasking is the stance
Never the phone kept free
Loud conversations in the distance
Is that an A plus I see?

Aged, wise and sound
Undoubtedly a dude
God help those around
When he ain’t in the mood!

Balance in the mind
Perfect at the art
Nowhere else will you find
One big throbbing heart.

Contemplative in nature
Not lacking in guts
No doubts about the future
I hear, “Are you nuts!!”

Prances like a kid
Unconditional is the love
Fall, the mighty did
With just a little shove.

If gossip be the game
Compete no other can
All charged up for fame
Still looking for a fan!

A mind full of logic
Less sleep, the pet peeve
A whole lot of senti
Is the trick up her sleeve.

Always in sprightly dance
Can’t do without the phone
At every given chance
Waiting to run home.

Quotes, poems, verses and rhymes
Sure deserve a loud clap
But, be warned my friends
Anytime you’ll hear the snap.

A million memories I’ve found
Times – happy, wild and free
Without these faces around
I wonder how it’ll be!

Dilemma

“Don’t make a mistake twice”, says the mind
“This ain’t a mistake”, says the heart

“Don’t ask for too much”, says the mind
“You deserve much more”, says the heart

"Be brave”, says the mind
“Emote”, says the heart

“Don’t come crying to me!” says the mind
“Use my shoulders”, says the heart

“Think”, says the mind
“Just do it”, says the heart

“Hold on”, says the mind
“Let go”, says the heart

“Lock up that door”, says the mind
“Keep no barriers”, says the heart

“Let him find the key”, says the mind
“Give some clues”, says the heart

“Find the road”, says the mind
“The road is where you are”, says the heart

“Listen to your heart”, says the mind
“Listen to your mind”, says the heart

Parzania

On my trip to Bombay, I had to watch Parzania coz I thought it would never the light of day in Gujarat and after seeing the film I’m pretty sure it never will.

It’s a true story of Parzan, a young Parsi boy who physically lives in Ahmedabad but mentally dwells in ‘Parzania’, the city where buildings are made of chocolate and the mountains are made of ice cream. Entry into Parzania involves taking an oath to place cricket above anything else. His world of dreams is shattered by the well planned and executed riots which tore him apart from his family. His only fault was that he was a Parsi which meant he wasn’t a Hindu and therefore he had no right to live. It was shocking to see how impracticality takes over humanity in the name religion. After futile attempts to find their son, Parzan’s family seeks solace through religion. It’s ironic how religion becomes the cause as well as the strength. Even more appalling is the fact that the entire massacre was planned to the T. Those trusted to protect had become the destroyers.

With the images from the film still looming large in my mind, I went to the Kalaghoda festival to just feel better. There, at an exhibition I read a quote: ‘If voting could change things, it would be illegal’.
SO TRUE!

G2...indeed!

Moving into the 5^th week of my project, I thought a survey was needed to understand the target audience (which includes any living soul in Ahmedabad city). Yes, it’s important to conduct a survey to figure out the minds of the residents of this city!

So I enter this beautiful garden (the existence of which I figured out after 1 year and 7 months of living in this place) and look for a bakra. Everyone seems happy doing their own thing…kids going up and down on the see saw, gujju turned mod aunties trying to lose weight, old people gossiping and ofcourse, the lovers doing their bit in obscure little corners. I decide to catch hold of the first few people I find and get done with the bloody survey. If answered accurately, each questionnaire had five questions, and as per my calculations it wouldn’t take more than two minutes. I get these weird glares from them. I’m sure they’re wondering what’s this girl doing with a pen and paper in hand when she should be with a guy in one of those corners.

After being turned down by a few not so gentle men and women, a sweet looking uncle agreed to oblige me and help me out for the sake of humanity. So I start off with my 2 minute survey. Before I start, I am informed about how lucky I am that he has two well educated children who handle the business, leaving him free time to answer pests like me. I smile. Before knowing his occupation, it’s necessary for me to know that he has been to the U.S. of A nine times in the past ten years. “Have you been involved in any kind of social work?”, I ask timidly. Oh! he would love to, u know, but well, he’s in Australia four months in a year. And then since he loves his wife, he takes her on a trip abroad twice a year. This year he celebrated his 35^th wedding anniversary in Mauritius and spent Christmas in Colombo and partied in Candy on New Year’s eve and stayed in a Hotel Bat…(forget the name now) which, as I should have guessed by now, was the most expensive 5 star hotel with a gorgeous jacujji (so he pronounced!). It was so beautiful that he decided to extend his stay by 5 days after taking special permission. I kept the fake smile intact, looking over his shoulder at the lucky kids playing merrily in the sand. He continued to educate me about the flora, fauna, food and people of Sri Lanka. I decided to move on to the next question and asked if he had heard of a disability called deafblindness. “Yes, you see, when I was in Europe………………………………….!!!” My receptive senses shut at that point of time but I do remember hearing the words Paris, Rome, Italy and London at regular intervals. I continue to nod. Two minutes turn in to twenty and I’m still listening to how he went gallivanting across the globe and wondering where social work and deafblindness fit into all this. Finally, he realizes I’ve wasted too much of his time and he needs to get going. He was expecting a call from New York, you see!

I look up, perplexed. It was getting dark. Maybe I too should head back. So much for surveys and questionnaires, I’m studying the Atlas instead!

(P.S.: if any one plans to go to Dubal for the shopping festival, beware! You might just bump into Uncle there.)

Memories...

Jaisalmer is undoubtedly beautiful.
However, I could not help but compare my third trip to the dunes with my previous two experiences. The first visit to the Golden city was at the age of 14 and boy, was it magical! I can still hear the screams and laughter of all of us kids as we rolled down the dunes and ran back to the top with full exuberance. There was no stopping us. The perfect picture was that of a silhouette of my mom against the setting sun.
The second time, I saw the dunes of the Sahara desert and it seemed like just another 'must do' on a trip abroad. The safari in the SUV though was an unforgettable experience for a sucker of thrills like myself. The trail of white cars speeding up and down the dunes looked just perfect. The journey was much more fun than the final destination.
This time, I went to the Thar desert with the hope of reliving the magical experience I had nine years ago, but it simply wasn't the same. Was it me or was it the place? It seemed so adulterated and commercialised. Isn't the desert supposed to be intimidating and inaccessible? What's the point of living in Swiss tents that one can reach even by road? Huh, so much for adventure and mystery! And whatever happened to 'experiencing the moment'? It seemed like it was more important to 'capture the moment' without savouring the best of it. I didn't feel like rolling down the the dunes or just going crazy in the fine sand. I didn't want to let go of my old memories, I guess.
The trip, however, was amazing. I wonder when again would I be able to do a trip like this with the friends who have been a very important part of my life for the past couple of years. Each one of us will go their own way to chase their own dreams and aspirations. The road trip through the night (for which I got fired by my parents!), the trademark NID garba, the singing around the bonfire, the heartfelt conversations and the unforgettable camel ride will remain memories I'll cherish forever.
I've realised that every experience peels off a little paint from old pictures to make space for new ones.

Now what?

Spent quite some time making the blog, figuring out how it works, the title, the template, fonts, colours etc...
still figuring out what to write about!